Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Bush is a Muslim Terrorist!

Why have there been no terrorist attacks since 9/11?

Because George W. Bush is the greatest ally the terrorists could ever have!

Bush is the unwitting agent of the terrorists, destroying America from within like an insidious cancer. Imagine if the terrorists planted an undercover agent in the American presidency. How could the undercover terrorist inflict the most damage on America?

Here's a potential terrorist game plan:
  1. Destroy America's credibility, ethics and image. Do this by cheating on elections, eviscerating the constitution with domestic spying and sabotaging Habeus Corpus, condoning torture, politicising the justice department and throw in some scandals and corruption in organizations like the world bank just to make sure everyone notices.

  2. Destroy America's economic power. Do this by spending America into bankruptcy by lowering taxes while increasing spending.

  3. Neutralize America's military. Do this by attacking and permanently occupying a previously harmless muslim country, getting permanently bogged down in a pointless yet expensive war that can never be won. If the initial attack is based on claims that later turn out to be false, such as the infamous Weapons of Mass Destruction, then the military debacle can help with point #1, destroying America's credibility.

  4. Neutralize objections to theocracies. Do this by destroying America's traditional wall of separation between church and state. If America itself is a theocracy, then how can America argue against an islamic theocracy? Also, since the muslim terrorist's goal is to install islamic theocracies, a good first step is to convert secular governments into religious theocracies. Later, it will be easier to simply replace one type of theocracy with an islamic theocracy.

  5. Enhance terrorist recruitment. Do this by occupying a muslim country with no end in site torturing prisoners so that all terrorists can see the evil of the occupier.
I don't really think the terrorists are smart enough to come up with a plan like this. But maybe they are smart enough to recognize that Bush is their best ally and is unwittingly playing right into their hands. Perhaps this is why there have been no terrorist attacks since 9/11.